This Marriage Is Heading For The Rocks - Kindly Advise

I have been sitting on my desk all day but I can't do any work. My head is aching. My marriage is 16 years old. in the past 6-7 months, I discovered that my wife has been chatting with one Dafe on BBM on a regular basis and would be laughing out profusely even when I am sitting next to her.

One day, during one of these their conversations, I asked her who her new BBM addiction is and she stated that she was chatting up our eldest daughter.

However, I had managed to peep the name on the screen as I was sitting on a higher chair next to her and noticed she was lying to me.

I kept quiet and played along and waited until she had gone to bed. I then scrolled through the conversations which had been going on for several days.

I realized that this man has been trying to toast my wife, although my wife has not agreed to any relationship with him. he didn't say any explicit thing but why would you be asking a married woman if she slept ok..if she was happy? if she has eaten food?..that is BS.

I however kept monitoring their conversations which I admit is wrong but necessary.

I realized that their own relationship was now cropping into daily chats, I confronted my wife. She stated he was just an old course mate who she ran into after many years. she said that they established a BBM connection through a bbm group.

I kept quiet even though I smelt a rat.

This morning she was at the kitchen frying plantain for the kids when her phone rang. I picked up the phone to go give her at the kitchen but when I gave her the phone, she picked the call and would not say a word.

It was like she wanted me to leave the kitchen before she could speak to who so ever it was on the line. after about 6 seconds waiting and realizing that I was going no where, she switched off the call.

I asked to know who was on the line and she said it is just friend. I asked male or female and she exploded. she said a lot of trash today but the one that has been ringing in my head all day is that I always behave like an over grown baby  full of insecurities.

I was shocked.. this was a girl I practically made a woman.

I know she is having an affair. sexual or not. but cheating and then insulting me in tow is a warning sign of greater things to follow.

She has never spoken to me with such disrespect. but I think I have had enough.

I will speak to her father this evening because she will reach home for some time.

I need to do this to save my marriage. I might be over reacting that's why I am writing you. I need to take a solid stand on this so she doesn't ever try it again. My wife reads your blog.

I want her to see other women’s opinion of her behaviour this morning. they will judge If I am really an overgrown baby full of insecurities because I don't want to allow you ruin our marriage.

You cannot cheat on me under my own roof. You can continue chatting with dafe in your village where unfortunately there is no network

Thanks if you find time to post this